Sunday, March 23, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
...and he ain't gonna jump no more!
It's amazing what a week will do to a soul. Either that or it's amazing how fast I can bounce back from being blue to being...green? Red? ummm...whatever color happy is. Yellow. I see happy being yellow. Don't ask.
Anyway I'm having a great time of life now. Kim and I are looking for places to live, and that shouldn't take long, it's just finding the time to go and do it. I know a couple of folks have suggested neighborhoods and areas around them, but a comprehensive list of what's available and at what prices in said neighborhoods could go a long way in helping us make a decision.
Rehearsals are going good. I'm reminded of the old days again. Except in one aspect, but I'll not get into that here. You all know my grievances. But two out of three ain't bad, and when those two outshine the third tenfold then that makes for a good time being had by all. I'm really enjoying myself and that's what's important. And I think everyone else is having a fun time too. Sure there are times when we might get on each other's nerves, but I've seen worse drama go on backstage.
This time of year also makes me really miss the 5o5th. It was this time of year when I enlisted in a World War II Parachute Infantry Company. Reenactors for those who might think I just lost my mind. I've been inactive for a couple of years now. It's expensive being a reenactor. My boots alone cost $100 and don't get me started on the uniform. But it was fun. Esp the Living Histories, events where we would show the public what was used and how. Talking to Vets from the war, watching the expression of our soldiers today as they try to imagine pushing back the enemy lines with what we used in 1944 and realizing that they don't have it quite as bad as they once thought. That feeling that you are part of something that's bigger than you, and taking the stories of the vets and having them entrust that to you to keep their memory living long after they are gone.
I miss that.
Now that I have a job that pays well enough, I want to get into better shape. This show is helping me on that but I want to get to where I'm not winded by climbing a flight of stairs, I want to loose this belly of mine. When I get all that accomplished, I'll rejoin my Brothers in Arms.
In the mean time, I'm enjoying life. It's spring, which means my sinuses are about to go nuts. You only thought I was acting with Beast - the reality is that I was so sick that the Beast voice was really MY voice. :-)
Well I guess I don't have anything else coherent to blog about. Just thought I would at least try to keep this thing weekly.
My life really isn't that exciting though.
Anyway I'm having a great time of life now. Kim and I are looking for places to live, and that shouldn't take long, it's just finding the time to go and do it. I know a couple of folks have suggested neighborhoods and areas around them, but a comprehensive list of what's available and at what prices in said neighborhoods could go a long way in helping us make a decision.
Rehearsals are going good. I'm reminded of the old days again. Except in one aspect, but I'll not get into that here. You all know my grievances. But two out of three ain't bad, and when those two outshine the third tenfold then that makes for a good time being had by all. I'm really enjoying myself and that's what's important. And I think everyone else is having a fun time too. Sure there are times when we might get on each other's nerves, but I've seen worse drama go on backstage.
This time of year also makes me really miss the 5o5th. It was this time of year when I enlisted in a World War II Parachute Infantry Company. Reenactors for those who might think I just lost my mind. I've been inactive for a couple of years now. It's expensive being a reenactor. My boots alone cost $100 and don't get me started on the uniform. But it was fun. Esp the Living Histories, events where we would show the public what was used and how. Talking to Vets from the war, watching the expression of our soldiers today as they try to imagine pushing back the enemy lines with what we used in 1944 and realizing that they don't have it quite as bad as they once thought. That feeling that you are part of something that's bigger than you, and taking the stories of the vets and having them entrust that to you to keep their memory living long after they are gone.
I miss that.
Now that I have a job that pays well enough, I want to get into better shape. This show is helping me on that but I want to get to where I'm not winded by climbing a flight of stairs, I want to loose this belly of mine. When I get all that accomplished, I'll rejoin my Brothers in Arms.
In the mean time, I'm enjoying life. It's spring, which means my sinuses are about to go nuts. You only thought I was acting with Beast - the reality is that I was so sick that the Beast voice was really MY voice. :-)
Well I guess I don't have anything else coherent to blog about. Just thought I would at least try to keep this thing weekly.
My life really isn't that exciting though.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Road Signs
What is it about staring at a blank screen that intimidates a person. I haven't written a blog in a long long time. And I mean a real blog, not some two paragraph whine fest about how I don't have time and crap. So here I am...trying to write something. It's not that I don't have anything in my head that needs to be put to screen, it's just I find myself losing interest.
Man I don't know when the last time I updated Xanga was (January 20th), and you can forget about Myspace, though I do need to mention something about my Dollywood Rejection Letter. And cross post that on Facebook.
It's funny how life is. It's good to some, while to others it just seems to have it out for them. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I have a good life, I know I do, but sometimes I think it could be better. They always say that you have to go and grab life by the cajones, but what happens when life kicks back at you and ends up giving you a black eye? You're not down by any account, but now you and life are facing each other, wondering who's going to make the next move. I feel that's where I am right now.
See, I got this job. It's a great job. I feel like I can go places with it. Then my supervisor disappears one day - says she has some issues she has to work out and moves off to Atlanta. I come back from sick leave and find her gone. Her stuff is still on her desk, and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. She and I were our department. So I just keep on doing what I was hired to do. It's still a great job, not too demanding, but now I feel expendable because the original reason I was hired is gone and now it just seems like I'm doing work that supposed to be done by other people. Ok it's not a feeling - I literally AM doing work that other people are supposed to be doing.
I'm a firm believer that God gives us signs. Subtle and not so subtle hints that he's watching and caring and leading us on the path he would like us to follow.
I audition for Dollywood. You've all read the account so I'll not go back into it. I prepare myself for either outcome. Yes or no my life is sitting on a crossroads. As the weeks roll on, I accept the fact Kim and I are staying here. The rejection letter was still a blow. Even when I was opening the envelope, I knew it had been too long for me to get this for them to have decided to hire me, but I still had hope. At least it was done nicely. Impersonal. "Nothing against you, we just can't use you." I wonder if Tokyo Girl (my audition buddy) made it. I wonder how I didn't. What could I have done better? Was I not country enough? Did those guys who were dressed in jeans, boots, a cowboy shirt and Stetson hat make it, even if they really couldn't sing? Or was my voice just not what they were looking for?
So what now? Every 7th and 23rd of the month I get a paycheck that lets me know I need to stick with this job - but I can't shake this feeling that they're paying me to do redundant work and they're gonna realize the amount they're paying me is not worth the small payoff I'm giving back - no matter the quality I'm so very hard trying to keep up now that I'm all by myself. Kim and I are living with my parents - something that we can fix now if we only had the time. Hell, there's a lot of life that Kim and I need to work on that I'll not bore you with if only we had time.
To sound completely pessimistic I feel like I'm back in the limbo I was in just a few short months ago. Maybe I convinced myself that Dollywood was exactly the fresh start we needed and that the Divine Guidance was giving me all the signs that pointed to that new life.
Perhaps there's a hidden lesson of humility or trust that I need to learn by not being one of the "chosen".
I'm a firm believer in signs. So what are they telling me now?
Man I don't know when the last time I updated Xanga was (January 20th), and you can forget about Myspace, though I do need to mention something about my Dollywood Rejection Letter. And cross post that on Facebook.
It's funny how life is. It's good to some, while to others it just seems to have it out for them. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I have a good life, I know I do, but sometimes I think it could be better. They always say that you have to go and grab life by the cajones, but what happens when life kicks back at you and ends up giving you a black eye? You're not down by any account, but now you and life are facing each other, wondering who's going to make the next move. I feel that's where I am right now.
See, I got this job. It's a great job. I feel like I can go places with it. Then my supervisor disappears one day - says she has some issues she has to work out and moves off to Atlanta. I come back from sick leave and find her gone. Her stuff is still on her desk, and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. She and I were our department. So I just keep on doing what I was hired to do. It's still a great job, not too demanding, but now I feel expendable because the original reason I was hired is gone and now it just seems like I'm doing work that supposed to be done by other people. Ok it's not a feeling - I literally AM doing work that other people are supposed to be doing.
I'm a firm believer that God gives us signs. Subtle and not so subtle hints that he's watching and caring and leading us on the path he would like us to follow.
I audition for Dollywood. You've all read the account so I'll not go back into it. I prepare myself for either outcome. Yes or no my life is sitting on a crossroads. As the weeks roll on, I accept the fact Kim and I are staying here. The rejection letter was still a blow. Even when I was opening the envelope, I knew it had been too long for me to get this for them to have decided to hire me, but I still had hope. At least it was done nicely. Impersonal. "Nothing against you, we just can't use you." I wonder if Tokyo Girl (my audition buddy) made it. I wonder how I didn't. What could I have done better? Was I not country enough? Did those guys who were dressed in jeans, boots, a cowboy shirt and Stetson hat make it, even if they really couldn't sing? Or was my voice just not what they were looking for?
So what now? Every 7th and 23rd of the month I get a paycheck that lets me know I need to stick with this job - but I can't shake this feeling that they're paying me to do redundant work and they're gonna realize the amount they're paying me is not worth the small payoff I'm giving back - no matter the quality I'm so very hard trying to keep up now that I'm all by myself. Kim and I are living with my parents - something that we can fix now if we only had the time. Hell, there's a lot of life that Kim and I need to work on that I'll not bore you with if only we had time.
To sound completely pessimistic I feel like I'm back in the limbo I was in just a few short months ago. Maybe I convinced myself that Dollywood was exactly the fresh start we needed and that the Divine Guidance was giving me all the signs that pointed to that new life.
Perhaps there's a hidden lesson of humility or trust that I need to learn by not being one of the "chosen".
I'm a firm believer in signs. So what are they telling me now?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Look, a post!
I like this layout - it reminds me of Firefly.
So...I've thought about it. I've had a bad day. I'm thinking I don't have time to do Sugar. I've got life I need to get worked out. I kinda knew that if I were cast as Joe or even Spats life would be pretty hectic, but I would have worked it out. But now that I'm neither I think I can better concentrate on life things without the distraction of a show.
And no, it doesn't have anything to do with any of you fine folks, you'd all be the only reason for me to stay. I've traditionally had a hard time doing a spring show, and this time is no different so...yeah.
There it is. I'm not 100%, but I'm 98.93%.
So...I've thought about it. I've had a bad day. I'm thinking I don't have time to do Sugar. I've got life I need to get worked out. I kinda knew that if I were cast as Joe or even Spats life would be pretty hectic, but I would have worked it out. But now that I'm neither I think I can better concentrate on life things without the distraction of a show.
And no, it doesn't have anything to do with any of you fine folks, you'd all be the only reason for me to stay. I've traditionally had a hard time doing a spring show, and this time is no different so...yeah.
There it is. I'm not 100%, but I'm 98.93%.
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